life hasn't been very easy for me from the very first day of the first grade .no bills, no real responsibilities .. sure, but people had some real harsh things to say .
i cried tears as a newborn baby, as a toddler, as a child, as an adolescent, as an angst teen, and now as a woman .
i've suffered many losses, many friendships too unmeaningful to save, too many promises made and left broken .
plenty of late night dreams of awakening to a father's warm embrace, harsh realizations of waking up empty handed .
one too many encounters with demons in disguises painting beautiful pictures only to leave me jam packed in a corner, stranded .
every ongoing step i take with caution .
no room for error, no time for mistakes in fulfilling what this world deems as perfection .
looking out to the world from inside protective barriers with only room for one .
wondering if all of these things were planned for me when realizing who i've become .
and with all i've had to go through, i'm still here, still believing there can be some good in this world .
giving my all to people who whimsically decide to ignore the heart i've layed at their feet and not say a word to me anymore .
no more .
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