spread your wings and fly..

i feel as though someone gave up on me today. life isn't easy.. neither are relationships, neither are friendships. do i scare you? why is it that we tend to most walk out on good things (good people) in our lives? if i could reach through this very computer screen and give you a quick shake, i would. i have let too many people walk out on me but tonight, i'm growing the balls to try and keep you from doing so. People are brought into one's life for a reason. stop closing yourself off, now is not the time to be stoic.

" if you believe in me that changes everything. " if you believe in me, i will make it to you.. one way or another. if you give up on me, i'll be out there, but we just might miss each other. if you believe in me, i'll give you all of the space you need because i know you need it. in a short month, you have exposed some of my deepest imperfections and as i work on fixing them, my life gets that much sweeter. i could sit back and do nothing, let time pull us further and further apart.. not distance. if distance was that key detrimental factor in our friendship's progress, it wouldn't have brought us together in the first place. then again, all i can do is say how i feel and you'll take it how you will, do as you see fit, and i'll have no choice but to accept it. for once in my life, i'm opting to take my chances.

my eyes have opened to the notion that what i'm looking for in a significant other isn't here; he isn't close to home. i've become too comfortable, too stuck in things i shouldn't be stuck in. over the years, i created a bubble around myself, a safe haven that isn't necessarily as safe as i coerced myself into thinking. it's kept me caged in insecurities and fear of flying.. fear of becoming who i was destined to be. there is so much more i want to say to you but i'll simply bring this post to a close with this:

we can go our separate ways. you can be with someone who isn't me, i can be with someone who isn't you. i won't connect with him the way i connected with you, he won't make me smile the way you do, he won't keep me on my toes the way you do, keep me in line when i need to open up my eyes and look reality dead in the face, that glow you instilled in me won't be the same because well, he won't be you. no two exact feelings can be attributed to different people. i'll always be here for you. always.